I’m not asking about the number on your digital scale, but about the burden you carry because you never think your body is good enough.
Today, I’m sharing the mic with my friend and fellow-podcaster, Jennifer Taylor Wagner, to help you answer the question: “how do I see my body as good, even when it doesn’t feel that way?” Jennifer shares:
Growing up, Jennifer’s body was bigger than most of the bodies around her. As a result, she was mocked and bullied from Kindergarten onward. The negative comments she received scarred her and eventually became part of her identity. She began to define herself as broken, not OK, unfixable… After trying what seemed to be anything and everything to “fix” her body, she started to despair. She couldn’t “repair” her “broken” body, and it seemed that her body was the only thing anyone ever cared about.
Fast forward, Jennifer slowly lost about half of her body weight. She did the thing, she lost the weight! But… she still felt deeply broken about her body. She still sought ways to lose even more, to tone this and tone that, to fix that one thing… Her body was still never enough. It was then that she realized: feeling better about your body is not dependent on how much you change about it, but on how at peace you are with it the way it is RIGHT NOW.
Jennifer’s big struggle was disliking her weight, but what is it for you? What weight are you carrying when it comes to your body? When we stop trying to repair our broken identities with our bodies and begin to dig up those roots, that allows us to relax our shoulders a bit.
We can’t numb ourselves to the fact that we are living in a body, and we will all our days! Instead of living in constant opposition to it, we have to begin to cultivate peace with it and thank God for it. Don’t you want that, friend?
How much power do you give to your scale? For Jennifer, she had a constant love-hate relationship with it. If you grip your scale so tightly that it dictates your worth and decisions (how you fuel, how you move, your relationships…) you are actually working against yourself feeling well in your body! For example, if you’re hungry and walk into the kitchen, but you’re also not happy with the number you saw that morning, you’re going to eat what fits your diet or restrictive mindset, not what your body actually needs.
You don’t necessarily need to scrap your scale, and you definitely don’t need to live in fear of it, but you may need seasons where you put it away. Step on the scale backwards at the doctor’s office or tuck your bathroom scale away in a cabinet for a few months. Be curious about your emotions towards your weight: “why do I feel this way, why did that bother me so much?” The scale is a tool. We must learn to recognize when it starts to dictate our worth and our wellness. This is where body trust comes in. You might be thinking:
Have you ever thought:
Jennifer had similar struggles when she first started intuitive eating. The first day she tried intuitive eating, she felt so free! But, being the kind of person who would track everything she ate before bed, by day three she was paralyzed by the fear of losing control. If that’s you right now, here’s her advice:
So much is possible in your food freedom journey. Keep going!
Friend, you cannot have true, lasting food and body freedom nor know the value of your body without your Creator. That might sound a little radical, but hear me out:
As a painting finds its worth in the one who painted it, as a princess finds her standing in her father, so humans find their identity in their Creator. Your worth is all wrapped up in the one who made you.
As Jennifer graduated high school, she started to shy away from the Lord in her body image journey. Surely the Lord was disappointed with her and her body if everyone else was! Later on, she realized that God, her maker, actually declared her and her body to be good and valuable because he made it. So, cry to God today. Ask him what you still need to understand, what you need to be taught. Ask him what wholeness looks like in him.
You are a child of God. Remember who he made you to be by his cross. I strongly encourage you to look up these passages and write down all the things they say you are in Christ:
I know that reading this blog post isn’t going to magically cure all of your insecurities, disordered habits, and the pain from trauma in the past. In the episode, Jennifer challenged us to take this one simple step towards making peace with food and your body: When you wake up tomorrow morning, let the first thing you do while you’re still laying in bed be to thank God for one thing about your body. It might be something like:
Remember:
“‘Freedom comes little by little, but little by little is sustainable.’”
—Jennifer Taylor Wagner quoting Alisa Keeton—
If you want to connect with Jennifer, you can find her at:
For more resources and support for your body image and food freedom journey, check out:
If you found this blog helpful, be sure to subscribe to The Joy-Filled Eater Podcast for more Christ-centered food freedom & body image support every week!
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